You Brought A WHAT?


“Is that why you’re wanted?”
“Well, I don’t think I have any overdue library books, so yes, probably the bomb.”

Padraig, in his brand-new-secondhand ship The Colleen, is contacted by Mr Green, offering him a job, and pointing him towards another. The first thing he wants is for Padraig to give a lift to two guys from New Zhentar.

Funnily enough, Finbar and Valkry also get a call from Mr. Green. He explains that, while he’s very pleased with their work, they were high-profile enough that he needs to put on a token witch-hunt to placate Uncle Enzo. Not to worry, though, he’s arranged a lift off-planet for them, and they just need to be gone a few days. Weeks at most. He’ll see them in a couple of months, for sure.

At the spaceport, Finbar and Valkry both recognise Padraig. Valkry and Padraig had met in the past and not-quite drunkenly slept together (although neither seemed too certain about that). Padraig’s previous dealings with Finbar were somewhat less pleasant, they’d met as part of a double-cross involving a merc hired to kill Padraig, who still saw Finbar as a betrayer (although that betrayal was responsible for saving Padraig’s life). The group decided to follow up Mr. Green’s lead – that a group calling itself the ‘United People’s Republic’ was looking for a small group of discrete people to do something discrete.

Arriving in UPR territory, the group are escorted to a meeting with a General Romanov, who explains that his efforts to control the Burackkas jump gate (and the robot ships that pour through it) are being hampered by the politics of the Contested Grounds. In particular, a potential alliance of three rival groups would force him to spread UPR forces far too thinly. The party, therefore, are tasked with disrupting the peace talks to be held on a nearby space station. In addition, Romanov wants the PCs to recover a piece of ancient technology that is being brought to the meeting as a peace offering.

Romanov provides details on the groups attending the meeting: The Stolen Skulls (space pirates), The Delta Wolves (mercs), and the Order of the Ancients (a cult). He also recognises Finbar as a wanted terrorist, and isn’t afraid to use that as a stick to get what he wants.

The party depart for Angel’s End, the location of the talks. Things go rapidly downhill when Padraig finds out that Finbar had brought The Package on board his prized new ship. ‘The Package’ being a suitcase nuke. That Finbar had accidentally acquired on his travels. After a long argument, and some mild violence, Finbar agrees to keep The Package unarmed while it was on the ship, and they fly onwards, arriving with plenty of time before the meeting.

They begin information gathering, and confirm that the Stolen Skulls are, much as advertised, space pirate scum. Their delegate, Bastard John, has a reputation for being an utterly sadistic douche.

In a pleasant change from him, the Order of the Ancients are, it seems, nothing more than a harmless cult based around ‘discovering the lost wisdom of the Ancients’, and Valkry is signed up for an introductory seminar, although it won’t be for some time.

The Delta Wolves are keeping a very low profile, though Padraig discovers that they’ll be taking over the majority of the security for the meeting.

With this information, the party decides that their plan will be to steal the peace offering from Bastard John’s room before the talks start, and frame the Delta Wolves – already antagonistic, the groups will hopefully tear each other apart and ruin any chance of an alliance.

The plan formed, Finbar steals a service uniform for the nicer of the two hotels on the station – assuming that from what they know of Bastard John, he’ll go for the luxury option. Meanwhile, Padraig goes to buy some explosives (to crack any safes) posing as a Delta Wolf, and managing to fast talk his way out of a potentially awkward situation with not knowing who’s in charge of the Wolves.

The session ended early for OC reasons, so the party didn’t get a chance to put the plan into action. Next time on Clusterfucked: A fancy dress party! Even more explosives! Irate space pirates!



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